Thank you, Marissa. When things were really bad for me, I was like, "How bad can my karma be?" But, I don't think it's that. I think I was clinging on to something that wasn't going to work for me ultimately. What was it that Oprah used to say? "First, it's a pebble, then a brick, then a wall." Or something like that. If we don't heed the first warnings, we get a whammy. I think, if we step outside the game, and play by our own rules, we will start to change things. When we decide to be happy, we'll have more energy to fight the good fights and win. At least that's what I'm hoping for. Truly appreciate your comments and insight! xo
"there might be something bigger/better out there" is such an important piece of perspective to remember when you're trying to hold on to something that is no longer working!!
Oh Sandra. I haven't had a chance to read the whole newsletter as I'm on my way out the door, BUT, I laughed when I saw your headline. Mine for what I am writing is called...Delusional Positivity. HA! I'm sure your newsletter is spot on, so now I might not even have to finish writing mine! My friend and I were talking about toxic positivity as well. So perhaps if Malignant Optimism is a cousin, Delusional Positivity can be an aunt or something?? LOL I look forward to reading the whole thing with a cup of tea later this afternoon. xo
I laughed so hard when I saw the title! Huzzah... "The Delusional Positivity" memo! Oh, I feel like we have led parallel lives. Everything resonated to the core muscle fiber of my rag and bone being. Here's to seeing our little 'stacks grow... along with a body of work that makes us all feel more connected :)
Oh, Alisa, I love that. Thanks! I so enjoy reading posts where, yep, I'm writing about that, too. And Kim with her Delusional Positivity...I love how interconnected we are, how in alignment it all feels, and it's fun to see these little things grow, blossom and flower! xo
The part about connection really resonates with me. The pandemic made me realize the importance of connection and community in general and I am still working on it - finding it and nourishing what I already have :)
Thank you so much, Asmita. That's all there really is, the connection, and the thread that runs through us all (well, the kind, loving, fun peeps, anyway...we'll include the others once the wise up). I love the connection and community we're building here. ❤ xo
When positivity isn't genuine it's downright sad. And one can sense it a mile away. When it's real, wow, look out. It's infectious and stunning. Great piece. I am also thankful when I'm running late-- sounds funny but I do wonder if G-d is protecting me from a wicked accident.
Thanks, Carissa. I think running late, when everything feels a little against you, there's some strange blessing/protection happening. A little mystical Nerf to protect us. xo
Another great post! (And just not for the shoutout--thank you for that!). I agree that when we are inflexible on our dreams, or when they don't occur in the timeframe we expect, that can send us into a tailspin. I'm trying to get better at having open-ended dreams, both in terms of when and what. I also realize I don't usually know what's best for me so I am open to something better than what I hope for.
Also love the part about connecting. That is so important, and much more enjoyable than most other dreams!
That rec was long overdue, Christopher! (I have posts scheduled 8 weeks in advance...for now, LOL...and yours was stuck in that queue.) Thanks so much for your kind words. I'm inherently impatient, so I'm working on pacing myself, letting things evolve/be open-ended, but the problem is I'm so damned sure what's best for me, the Universe feels the need to keep showing me where I'm wrong. Learning to listen, and just to be. I so appreciate the community being built here on the Sub. Thanks for being part of that connection. xo
8 weeks out! Wow. I am looking forward to the day when I can build a two-week buffer. Haven't gotten there yet! (still need to figure out my next topic....)
I agree, the connections I've made on here have been great.
“There are other beliefs you need to let go of, reconsider, burn down.” -- hit me directly in the pumper. I love these reflections and how fascinating, the glimpse into the writer’s world of Hollywood (and aggravating!) Sassy Little Substack is giving me life ❤️😃
You're giving me life! Thank you, Bethany. That means a lot. And now that the actors are on strike, things are about to get more interesting (and maybe terrible). 😘 xo
Thank you so much for this post, Sandra. As an almost-40 year old living back with my parents and not at all where I thought I would be, I needed to hear all of this so much. My SoCal, airy fairy, woo woo self loves the term "malignant optimism" so much too.
Thank YOU, Jackie! The slightly uncomfortable thing to realize is that we are exactly where we need to be. (Says a 54 yo woman living in a seriously teeny tiny place for the last 10 yrs.) We (and I'm including myself because I need constant reminders) need to consider that, if we aren't moving forward, what do we need to stand still for to realize? That's not a neg. It's all good stuff (even if it doesn't feel that way...reminding myself again). You're right where you need to be right now, and you are doing great stuff. And we SoCal ladies will need to meet up one of these day. xo
Standing ovation for “you can’t manifest from a broken place” and the spot-on assertion that ultimately, connection is really all that matters. This one was an absolute banger, Sandra. 🔥
I love this, "When you are desperate (like I was), you aren’t vibing with The Powers That Be/The Universe/Your Higher Self (pick the one that fits you best) in a way that will open the doors you need opened. Which sucks like a futhermucker. It also makes zero sense. When you are at a low point, you need the goodness to come. Ask and ye shall receive, right?! Well, only if you’re in the right headspace and heartspace. It’s like trying to plant a garden in the desert" This whole piece is great and spot on.
Thank you, Marissa. When things were really bad for me, I was like, "How bad can my karma be?" But, I don't think it's that. I think I was clinging on to something that wasn't going to work for me ultimately. What was it that Oprah used to say? "First, it's a pebble, then a brick, then a wall." Or something like that. If we don't heed the first warnings, we get a whammy. I think, if we step outside the game, and play by our own rules, we will start to change things. When we decide to be happy, we'll have more energy to fight the good fights and win. At least that's what I'm hoping for. Truly appreciate your comments and insight! xo
"there might be something bigger/better out there" is such an important piece of perspective to remember when you're trying to hold on to something that is no longer working!!
Another great post my friend... xo :)
Thanks so much, Jennifer! ❤ xo
Oh Sandra. I haven't had a chance to read the whole newsletter as I'm on my way out the door, BUT, I laughed when I saw your headline. Mine for what I am writing is called...Delusional Positivity. HA! I'm sure your newsletter is spot on, so now I might not even have to finish writing mine! My friend and I were talking about toxic positivity as well. So perhaps if Malignant Optimism is a cousin, Delusional Positivity can be an aunt or something?? LOL I look forward to reading the whole thing with a cup of tea later this afternoon. xo
DEFINITELY write yours, Kim. I love the connection and proving the thread! Besides, great minds and all that. LOL. xo
I laughed so hard when I saw the title! Huzzah... "The Delusional Positivity" memo! Oh, I feel like we have led parallel lives. Everything resonated to the core muscle fiber of my rag and bone being. Here's to seeing our little 'stacks grow... along with a body of work that makes us all feel more connected :)
Oh, Alisa, I love that. Thanks! I so enjoy reading posts where, yep, I'm writing about that, too. And Kim with her Delusional Positivity...I love how interconnected we are, how in alignment it all feels, and it's fun to see these little things grow, blossom and flower! xo
Beautiful essay, Sandra!
The part about connection really resonates with me. The pandemic made me realize the importance of connection and community in general and I am still working on it - finding it and nourishing what I already have :)
Thank you so much, Asmita. That's all there really is, the connection, and the thread that runs through us all (well, the kind, loving, fun peeps, anyway...we'll include the others once the wise up). I love the connection and community we're building here. ❤ xo
Yes! I am a big fan of what we are building here; love it 🥰 and yes, waiting patiently lol
When positivity isn't genuine it's downright sad. And one can sense it a mile away. When it's real, wow, look out. It's infectious and stunning. Great piece. I am also thankful when I'm running late-- sounds funny but I do wonder if G-d is protecting me from a wicked accident.
Thanks, Carissa. I think running late, when everything feels a little against you, there's some strange blessing/protection happening. A little mystical Nerf to protect us. xo
Another great post! (And just not for the shoutout--thank you for that!). I agree that when we are inflexible on our dreams, or when they don't occur in the timeframe we expect, that can send us into a tailspin. I'm trying to get better at having open-ended dreams, both in terms of when and what. I also realize I don't usually know what's best for me so I am open to something better than what I hope for.
Also love the part about connecting. That is so important, and much more enjoyable than most other dreams!
That rec was long overdue, Christopher! (I have posts scheduled 8 weeks in advance...for now, LOL...and yours was stuck in that queue.) Thanks so much for your kind words. I'm inherently impatient, so I'm working on pacing myself, letting things evolve/be open-ended, but the problem is I'm so damned sure what's best for me, the Universe feels the need to keep showing me where I'm wrong. Learning to listen, and just to be. I so appreciate the community being built here on the Sub. Thanks for being part of that connection. xo
8 weeks out! Wow. I am looking forward to the day when I can build a two-week buffer. Haven't gotten there yet! (still need to figure out my next topic....)
I agree, the connections I've made on here have been great.
I hadn't written in so long, it all just spilled out. Hoping it doesn't dry up. And keep doing what you're doing, Chris. It's working very well. xo
It's impressive. So impressive I am tempted to go against everything I just wrote about today and......never mind. :)
LOL. You rule, Chris. xo
“There are other beliefs you need to let go of, reconsider, burn down.” -- hit me directly in the pumper. I love these reflections and how fascinating, the glimpse into the writer’s world of Hollywood (and aggravating!) Sassy Little Substack is giving me life ❤️😃
You're giving me life! Thank you, Bethany. That means a lot. And now that the actors are on strike, things are about to get more interesting (and maybe terrible). 😘 xo
Thank you so much for this post, Sandra. As an almost-40 year old living back with my parents and not at all where I thought I would be, I needed to hear all of this so much. My SoCal, airy fairy, woo woo self loves the term "malignant optimism" so much too.
Thank YOU, Jackie! The slightly uncomfortable thing to realize is that we are exactly where we need to be. (Says a 54 yo woman living in a seriously teeny tiny place for the last 10 yrs.) We (and I'm including myself because I need constant reminders) need to consider that, if we aren't moving forward, what do we need to stand still for to realize? That's not a neg. It's all good stuff (even if it doesn't feel that way...reminding myself again). You're right where you need to be right now, and you are doing great stuff. And we SoCal ladies will need to meet up one of these day. xo
Standing ovation for “you can’t manifest from a broken place” and the spot-on assertion that ultimately, connection is really all that matters. This one was an absolute banger, Sandra. 🔥
Thank you so much, Maggie! That means a lot. 🥰 ❤️ xo
I love this, "When you are desperate (like I was), you aren’t vibing with The Powers That Be/The Universe/Your Higher Self (pick the one that fits you best) in a way that will open the doors you need opened. Which sucks like a futhermucker. It also makes zero sense. When you are at a low point, you need the goodness to come. Ask and ye shall receive, right?! Well, only if you’re in the right headspace and heartspace. It’s like trying to plant a garden in the desert" This whole piece is great and spot on.
Thanks so much, Jocelyn. 💗 xo