I loved this reading and I love it when people are prepared, even if it means that I don't wear half of what I wear. I rely on my friends who overpack too! We share! Joy, joy, joy!
Love it, Liz! Group travel is a team effort, and I'm always happy to share. It just irritated me that he was all boastful about his little backpack, but didn't have half the crap he actually needed. LOL. xo
Ha, very relatable. Last summer I went to France and wayyy underpacked in efforts to be a minimalist and I still had a great time but frankly missed a lot of my stuff. Including my favorite jeans. I think lately packing causes me a lot of anxiety because I’m still fighting myself.
Going to try packing from a place of happiness next time.
Totally pack for happiness, Sameet! Back in the 90s, I had to be in NYC for about a month. I had just gone to the Gap and took advantage of their sale (they were doing a great job of being inspired by Miu Miu at the time). I had to pack small because I was travelling with my boss. It was summer, so humidity! But that's where I learned the brilliance of a capsule wardrobe. I wore everything I brought (even a little black dress to the theatre), changed multiple times a day (outfit for errands, one for meeting, another for dinner), which was fun, loved everything I wore. And, yes, I brought a sweater and a jacket! LOL. It took me years (decades, actually) to finally have the confidence to get rid of things I didn't really wear/like/need/felt good in and whittle my wardrobe down to a uniform/capsule, but it's the best thing I've done. It ups the happy factor! xo
This is what I want! A capsule wardrobe! I think I was striving for that last summer before my trip, but I'm not sure that I've found my uniform yet and so when I went to reach for clothes there were too many things I felt meh about, too many things I wanted to want to wear. I love clothes (and shoes! and hats! all of it). My tastes move in so many different directions though. There are definitely those things I like for a season or two versus the things I love and continue to reach for year after year. I dunno- I think I need to pay more attention to the difference between the two. Hearing about your experience helps!
My style varies, too, but it comes down to what do I really wear? What do I feel my best in? Then the rest falls away. And you don't have to get rid of things at first, if you're unsure (just pack it away, date it, and give yourself time). You'll be super surprised at what you don't miss, then you can let it go. You'll likely find that most things match each other (creating a capsule naturally). I'm uniform-y in what I wear to work, so that helps (and I'm in L.A.. so work clothes translate into everyday wear, too). Once you start the ball rolling, it sort of happens naturally, and then you might want to buy a few pieces to balance it out. I never spend more than two minutes thinking about what I'm going to wear and I never sigh that I have nothing to wear. It's magic! xo
Two minutes! That's perfect. Thanks, this is really helpful. I live in Toronto, so my capsule will require some more intense winter wear 😅, but nevertheless I'm looking forward to whittling down.
Let me tell you, I have an absurd amount of coats for someone who lives in L.A. But they are pretty! LOL. Have fun with it, Sameet. Let me know how it goes! xo
We were just talking about packing for a trip. My daughters fiancé left for Italy for 2 weeks-- his suitcase? A backpack. I’m always thrilled when I’m staying someplace that has free laundry machines.
LOL. Men. For two weeks, though, I'd just bring a lot of clothes, ample underwear, a steamer and some Shout Wipes. Who wants to do laundry on vacation?! Hope you have fun on yours, Carissa. xo
This entire essay felt like a permission slip. It made me think: how often have I contorted myself, and my stuff, to avoid appearing—horror of horrors!—high-maintenance? When you start thinking about reflexes you've never second-guessed before, that's the mark of an well-argued opinion piece.
Thank you, Maddie! The end of it for me was when my shampoo and lotion leaked all over everything (in a TSA approved bag). The clean-up was unfun. And then cleaning out those containers...even less fun. Here's to being high-maintenance and happy! xo
I decided years ago that it was stupid for guilty pleasures to be guilty. Can't they just be pleasures? Why yes, I enjoy binging reality dating shows. And? I don't see the point in feeling embarrassed about it anymore.
Love that, Lorelei! We get to do what we like to do, dammit! Happily and guilt-free. I will say that I have kept the "guilty" pleasures "guilty" because I just sort of like feeling guilty about things every once in a while. It's like a little private joke with myself when I draw outside of my "lines". Like getting away with something or a "who are you?!" moment, which I also enjoy. But I'm a dork like that. xo
Love this, super insightful read. Also, I have to ask: "yelling at the TV on a Sunday morning during a grand prix" - are you the reincarnated version of my grandmother? She used to do the same thing when Formula 1 was on!
You know what I frequently forget -- just about every time?! A sweater!! I think living in humid Florida has erased all understanding that in other parts of the country, it gets *cool* at night (like the desert, or California, where I am traveling to half the time).
I say, pack what you want and enjoy that simple pleasure. And when we place that sparkly cowboy hat back in our closet, the one that served only as a place-holder / packing cube for our unmentionables, we will whisper to it “Good job, old friend. Well done.”
Thank you, Bethany! I live a few miles from the beach and remind friends, no matter what time of day or year, "Bring a sweater," the annoying phrase my grandmother would say every time I walked out the door, even when it was 100 in Newhall. And, yes! I do bring a sweater to PS because, after being in the sun for a few hours, eating lunch in my room I will freeze! (At 72 degrees!) LOL. Maybe leave a sweater in your suitcase. That way, you'll always be prepared. 😎 xo
I've always aspired to be the girl who travels with just one bag and a small handbag, but I never quite make it. Instead, I end up with one bag and several totes, two of which belong to my dogs!
Why do we always want to be "that girl"? Ugh. (BTW, she's FedExing her real luggage! I know those women!) And I carry the "big bag of crazy" (isn't that what men say about women with large purses?). But, I have everything I need, including the just-in-cases, like my inhaler and Epipen. And those two bags for your dogs? That's love. So love yourself the same way. Thanks, Asmita! xo
I admittedly have an obsession with travel size toiletries. I wish there was an entire store that just sold travel sizes of everything I use on a daily basis. But I am totally with you in wanting to have all the things I like and that make me happy with me when I go somewhere (amen to packing cubes too). It's funny because when it comes to my disability, I'm constantly trying to figure out what is going to make things easier (or not cause an injury). It's just my default. But with everything else, I often default to operating based on what the other person needs first (example being not asking for a special add on to a coffee drink that I really want because it'll make things more difficult for the barista). Especially after the last 3 years, all the more reason for us to do the small and big things that really make us happy. Thank you for that reminder <3
I love store-bought travel-sized things, too, Jackie. They are adorbs! But none of my current stuff comes in that size, so it's decant or full-size it (and we know where I am with that). And, as a grande-decaf-coconut-milk-no-foam latte lover, get the drink you effing want! Enough stuff is hard and not enjoyable, might as well have a good time with the rest. Thanks, Jackie! xo
Also I just came back from a trip to Pismo (also left on a Sunday for traffic/tourist reasons) so very much appreciated this post was centered around a trip to the same general vicinity :)
This is such a great message. Too often I delay happiness because I feel I need to earn it by doing the things I should be doing. Happiness isn’t a reward you receive after the fact. Something I need to remind myself of constantly.
I am also a big packer out of necessity but I actually dream of the opposite: being able to go places with just a backpack, like in my college days. (I would bring toothpaste though.)
LOL. Of course you'd bring toothpaste, Christopher. You're a grownup who comes prepared. And we do have to remember that our intended baseline is happy. It's a given rather than a goal. We need to let ourselves have it, embrace it, own it instead of keeping it at bay. xo
Knowing what makes us happy is difficult. Or, I should say, knowing what makes me happy is difficult for me. So how often? Ugh. I don't know. Being happy because something is over (pilates I am looking at you) is not the same as being happy in the moment. Can you please write about how to identify happiness. It would be nice to have some tips on that.
I loved this whole post and especially this, "Instead, if we allow ourselves to think about what would take the pressure off, what would make things easier, what we actually prefer, we can enjoy ourselves more without putting anyone else out."
Thank you, Jocelyn! I just got back from a few days in Palm Springs where I took a carry-on rollie, a tote on top of that, an insulated bag of food, another bag full of what wouldn’t fit in any of the above, including a pillow, and my yoga mat. Got it all in with two trips from the car. (And, yes, it all fit in my teeny tiny Fiat.) And I enjoyed TF out of every second there. Including heating up my bone broth (in individual mason jars) in their metal ice bucket with hot water from the tap. LOL. I have that trip down to a science now, and I come back blissed out. xo
OMG that is me! You're individual bone broth jars! I've actually reduced it to basically a crystal form so I can just take a small mason jar of it! And I'm going to CA for a month and will be packing my full sized, non travel yoga mat! Even if it takes up an entire check through more or less. ;) yes to packing for ourselves and our wellbeing!
I loved this reading and I love it when people are prepared, even if it means that I don't wear half of what I wear. I rely on my friends who overpack too! We share! Joy, joy, joy!
Love it, Liz! Group travel is a team effort, and I'm always happy to share. It just irritated me that he was all boastful about his little backpack, but didn't have half the crap he actually needed. LOL. xo
Ha, very relatable. Last summer I went to France and wayyy underpacked in efforts to be a minimalist and I still had a great time but frankly missed a lot of my stuff. Including my favorite jeans. I think lately packing causes me a lot of anxiety because I’m still fighting myself.
Going to try packing from a place of happiness next time.
Totally pack for happiness, Sameet! Back in the 90s, I had to be in NYC for about a month. I had just gone to the Gap and took advantage of their sale (they were doing a great job of being inspired by Miu Miu at the time). I had to pack small because I was travelling with my boss. It was summer, so humidity! But that's where I learned the brilliance of a capsule wardrobe. I wore everything I brought (even a little black dress to the theatre), changed multiple times a day (outfit for errands, one for meeting, another for dinner), which was fun, loved everything I wore. And, yes, I brought a sweater and a jacket! LOL. It took me years (decades, actually) to finally have the confidence to get rid of things I didn't really wear/like/need/felt good in and whittle my wardrobe down to a uniform/capsule, but it's the best thing I've done. It ups the happy factor! xo
This is what I want! A capsule wardrobe! I think I was striving for that last summer before my trip, but I'm not sure that I've found my uniform yet and so when I went to reach for clothes there were too many things I felt meh about, too many things I wanted to want to wear. I love clothes (and shoes! and hats! all of it). My tastes move in so many different directions though. There are definitely those things I like for a season or two versus the things I love and continue to reach for year after year. I dunno- I think I need to pay more attention to the difference between the two. Hearing about your experience helps!
My style varies, too, but it comes down to what do I really wear? What do I feel my best in? Then the rest falls away. And you don't have to get rid of things at first, if you're unsure (just pack it away, date it, and give yourself time). You'll be super surprised at what you don't miss, then you can let it go. You'll likely find that most things match each other (creating a capsule naturally). I'm uniform-y in what I wear to work, so that helps (and I'm in L.A.. so work clothes translate into everyday wear, too). Once you start the ball rolling, it sort of happens naturally, and then you might want to buy a few pieces to balance it out. I never spend more than two minutes thinking about what I'm going to wear and I never sigh that I have nothing to wear. It's magic! xo
Two minutes! That's perfect. Thanks, this is really helpful. I live in Toronto, so my capsule will require some more intense winter wear 😅, but nevertheless I'm looking forward to whittling down.
Let me tell you, I have an absurd amount of coats for someone who lives in L.A. But they are pretty! LOL. Have fun with it, Sameet. Let me know how it goes! xo
We were just talking about packing for a trip. My daughters fiancé left for Italy for 2 weeks-- his suitcase? A backpack. I’m always thrilled when I’m staying someplace that has free laundry machines.
LOL. Men. For two weeks, though, I'd just bring a lot of clothes, ample underwear, a steamer and some Shout Wipes. Who wants to do laundry on vacation?! Hope you have fun on yours, Carissa. xo
This entire essay felt like a permission slip. It made me think: how often have I contorted myself, and my stuff, to avoid appearing—horror of horrors!—high-maintenance? When you start thinking about reflexes you've never second-guessed before, that's the mark of an well-argued opinion piece.
Thank you, Maddie! The end of it for me was when my shampoo and lotion leaked all over everything (in a TSA approved bag). The clean-up was unfun. And then cleaning out those containers...even less fun. Here's to being high-maintenance and happy! xo
Makes me panicky just imagining it!! High-maintenance and happy, indeed. 🤗
I decided years ago that it was stupid for guilty pleasures to be guilty. Can't they just be pleasures? Why yes, I enjoy binging reality dating shows. And? I don't see the point in feeling embarrassed about it anymore.
Love that, Lorelei! We get to do what we like to do, dammit! Happily and guilt-free. I will say that I have kept the "guilty" pleasures "guilty" because I just sort of like feeling guilty about things every once in a while. It's like a little private joke with myself when I draw outside of my "lines". Like getting away with something or a "who are you?!" moment, which I also enjoy. But I'm a dork like that. xo
Love this, super insightful read. Also, I have to ask: "yelling at the TV on a Sunday morning during a grand prix" - are you the reincarnated version of my grandmother? She used to do the same thing when Formula 1 was on!
LOL, Mark. I may indeed be her, as long as she loathes Red Bull as much as I do and is waiting on an overdue Hammy win! xo
The Red Bull comment checks out - can't comment on Hamilton but I'll ask her when I see her on the other side.
Well, if she's me, I think we can confirm! LOL. xo
You know what I frequently forget -- just about every time?! A sweater!! I think living in humid Florida has erased all understanding that in other parts of the country, it gets *cool* at night (like the desert, or California, where I am traveling to half the time).
I say, pack what you want and enjoy that simple pleasure. And when we place that sparkly cowboy hat back in our closet, the one that served only as a place-holder / packing cube for our unmentionables, we will whisper to it “Good job, old friend. Well done.”
Love this piece Sandra!
Thank you, Bethany! I live a few miles from the beach and remind friends, no matter what time of day or year, "Bring a sweater," the annoying phrase my grandmother would say every time I walked out the door, even when it was 100 in Newhall. And, yes! I do bring a sweater to PS because, after being in the sun for a few hours, eating lunch in my room I will freeze! (At 72 degrees!) LOL. Maybe leave a sweater in your suitcase. That way, you'll always be prepared. 😎 xo
I've always aspired to be the girl who travels with just one bag and a small handbag, but I never quite make it. Instead, I end up with one bag and several totes, two of which belong to my dogs!
So, I needed this :) Thank you!
Why do we always want to be "that girl"? Ugh. (BTW, she's FedExing her real luggage! I know those women!) And I carry the "big bag of crazy" (isn't that what men say about women with large purses?). But, I have everything I need, including the just-in-cases, like my inhaler and Epipen. And those two bags for your dogs? That's love. So love yourself the same way. Thanks, Asmita! xo
I admittedly have an obsession with travel size toiletries. I wish there was an entire store that just sold travel sizes of everything I use on a daily basis. But I am totally with you in wanting to have all the things I like and that make me happy with me when I go somewhere (amen to packing cubes too). It's funny because when it comes to my disability, I'm constantly trying to figure out what is going to make things easier (or not cause an injury). It's just my default. But with everything else, I often default to operating based on what the other person needs first (example being not asking for a special add on to a coffee drink that I really want because it'll make things more difficult for the barista). Especially after the last 3 years, all the more reason for us to do the small and big things that really make us happy. Thank you for that reminder <3
I love store-bought travel-sized things, too, Jackie. They are adorbs! But none of my current stuff comes in that size, so it's decant or full-size it (and we know where I am with that). And, as a grande-decaf-coconut-milk-no-foam latte lover, get the drink you effing want! Enough stuff is hard and not enjoyable, might as well have a good time with the rest. Thanks, Jackie! xo
Also I just came back from a trip to Pismo (also left on a Sunday for traffic/tourist reasons) so very much appreciated this post was centered around a trip to the same general vicinity :)
It's so beautiful up there. But cold! And I learned that it's best to take the 5 and the 148 (147? Waze knows) over. I avoid the 101 at all costs. xo
This is such a great message. Too often I delay happiness because I feel I need to earn it by doing the things I should be doing. Happiness isn’t a reward you receive after the fact. Something I need to remind myself of constantly.
I am also a big packer out of necessity but I actually dream of the opposite: being able to go places with just a backpack, like in my college days. (I would bring toothpaste though.)
LOL. Of course you'd bring toothpaste, Christopher. You're a grownup who comes prepared. And we do have to remember that our intended baseline is happy. It's a given rather than a goal. We need to let ourselves have it, embrace it, own it instead of keeping it at bay. xo
Love the sentiment in this issue. Really hit home.
Thanks, Bryce. xo
Knowing what makes us happy is difficult. Or, I should say, knowing what makes me happy is difficult for me. So how often? Ugh. I don't know. Being happy because something is over (pilates I am looking at you) is not the same as being happy in the moment. Can you please write about how to identify happiness. It would be nice to have some tips on that.
I will absolutely do that, Anna. It's such a great thing to ponder. Thank you! xo
I loved this whole post and especially this, "Instead, if we allow ourselves to think about what would take the pressure off, what would make things easier, what we actually prefer, we can enjoy ourselves more without putting anyone else out."
Thank you, Jocelyn! I just got back from a few days in Palm Springs where I took a carry-on rollie, a tote on top of that, an insulated bag of food, another bag full of what wouldn’t fit in any of the above, including a pillow, and my yoga mat. Got it all in with two trips from the car. (And, yes, it all fit in my teeny tiny Fiat.) And I enjoyed TF out of every second there. Including heating up my bone broth (in individual mason jars) in their metal ice bucket with hot water from the tap. LOL. I have that trip down to a science now, and I come back blissed out. xo
OMG that is me! You're individual bone broth jars! I've actually reduced it to basically a crystal form so I can just take a small mason jar of it! And I'm going to CA for a month and will be packing my full sized, non travel yoga mat! Even if it takes up an entire check through more or less. ;) yes to packing for ourselves and our wellbeing!
Gotta do what we gotta do! Enjoy your travels, Jocelyn! xo