Pumping the Breaks
Why we need to schedule periods of rest.
I don’t know that I get “burnout” as much as I just sort of implode or spontaneously combust. I’ve learned this about myself by going off that flaming cliff more than once. It’s not something I’m proud of. It’s simply my reality. A mixture of creative, physical and emotional exhaustion that just flattens me. And I’ve been hellbent on making sure that doesn’t happen here.
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I started this ‘stack in March, and made mention in my first post that I intended to start slow, ramp up and, in a few months, I’d be weekly. The idea was to manage the expectations of both myself and subscribers. I wasn’t sure what I would be able to pull off, if I’m honest. But, lo and behold, once I started this ‘stack, I simply couldn’t stop writing. After not having consistently written since the start of 2018 (when I eked out my second novel), as of March 2023, I’ve been somewhat prolific in my output. (I pre-load my posts, weeks in advance, in case I hit a patch of fatigue or life just gets life-y.)
But I knew that pace would only last so long.
I decided early on that I would schedule regular breaks here, aiming for April, August and December. Since I started this little bliss in March, it didn’t make sense to pause it a month later. When August rolled around, I was having so much fun, I forgot to take a break and, instead, took one in September. But, now, December is here and — well, yes, I did just take a break two months ago, but — I need to get this train back on track. So, December will have its intended break.
I don’t go dark on my hiatuses (and I’m so disappointed to find that the plural is not hiatusi); instead, I settle on a theme for that month. September was Music Therapy. December will be Cinema Therapy (gotta put that BFA to work somehow). We’ll have some fun with that. There are ample sources of happiness out there that we can pull from, fall into, rely on and enjoy. So, I hope you’ll stick with me through the coming weeks and maybe indulge in a suggestion or two of your own in the comments. (We are a sassy little community here, after all.) Film has a funny way of letting us think we’re escaping, when it actually gets us thinking.
More than just share my plans here in this post, I want to encourage you to take breaks, sabbaticals, pauses, hiatuses, too, and do them on purpose…before you need them. Those of us in the US pretty much suck at taking time off. First, if we’re lucky, we’ll have a week’s vacation (maybe two), and a few sick days. (Some companies are lumping it all into PTO, but, to me, that’s more of a warning not to have too much fun, or you’re screwed if you get sick.) Our holidays all revolve around sales. Even Memorial Day (a time to honor and mourn those who gave their lives in service of our country — not exactly BBQ and BOGO material, IMO). We might see advertising for travel, but never rest (unless you want to count mattress sales). We don’t make rest a priority, and it should be.
Rest is different than sleep (though, I am a huge fan of sleep, sleeping in and naps…long ones). Rest is allowing yourself to just be. To remove the pressure. To breathe. It frees up time to do nothing. And I don’t think we appreciate the value of doing nothing, the sweetness of it. It comes off as wasteful. But that’s a flawed perspective.
“You can rest when you’re dead!” a friend would tell me when I wanted to bow out of something because I was depleted. I can’t tell you how annoying I found that. I came to understand, in my late-teens/early-twenties, how much I needed both sleep and rest. Once I was diagnosed with EBV, I understood why. I learned (the hard way) to listen to my body because, if I decided to push it, I would face weeks of fatigue and lethargy. Not a fun feeling in your 20s or 30s — or any age for that matter. And, yet, we are a culture of pushing it, drowning in caffeine to keep us going and believing that, sure, we can rest when we’re dead, so let’s do it all now! Or…maybe…we can slow TF down and pay attention to our lives instead of whizzing through the days/months/years, wondering when we’ll get a chance to actually enjoy it.
If you’re doing any personal/growth work, you’ll need time to pause, to take in what you’ve learned, apply it, be present with what’s changed and evolved, and assess what additional changes/growth you want to foster. You actually need to stop focusing on the work to see if/how it’s working. (‘Cept therapy. If you want/need a break from that, talk to your doctor about it and why. Because, sometimes, we want a “break” right before there’s a big shift. Kinda not the point.) And that’s part of this break for me…and you, too. Instead of thinking about being happy and how to get more happy, why not just stop and simply be happy? Feel it as it comes and goes, ebbs and flows. Come to understand it more. Enjoy it more! Be instead of do.
I used to never take time off from work unless I had to (travel for a wedding or holidays with a BF’s family, very rarely for a vacation longer than a long weekend). I wouldn’t even take time off between old and new jobs. Because I was dedicated! LOL. I also saw vacation days as gold and wanted to hoard them. What a silly, silly habit that was. I hope you are wiser than me in that regard. We aren’t heroes for not taking time off. We are wise to rest.
Now, I schedule time off from work. Just like with the ‘stack, I take off a week in April, August and December (I’m old and I’ve gotten to a place in life where 3 weeks’ vacay is the minimum requirement). But, taking a week off isn’t always easy or preferable. From my old, old job, I learned to take a month’s worth of 3-day weekends rather than a full week. Somehow, that was more pampering. (It’s not always fun to come back to a desk full of work and an overflowing email inbox; long weekends help out in that regard.)
I’m super cheap and prefer a staycation. Sure, I might do a couple of days in Palm Springs (mid-week, when it’s discounted), but, usually, I don’t. I love to relax at home and just be. So, don’t feel pressure to go somewhere in order not to “waste” your time off. That’s just bad math. Your time is your time. Take it as you like it. (And think of friends and colleagues who come back from their trips looking more haggard than before they left. So not the point.)
With the holidays here, many will take time off to be with loved ones — either travelling to or hosting. You will need rest from all of that wonderful (yet stressful) stuff. Plan for that, too — even in the middle of it. You aren’t a bad guest or poor host if you need to take a break. You’re human. Let yourself be.
To fellow Substack authors who’ve been struggling with whether or not to take time off (repeating what I put in many of your comments or said to your face): DO IT. You will be a better writer for it. A more-present human for it. What’s the point of writing here if it feels like a chore? Your readers will understand. (Right, readers?) Fun fact: You have to give back to you before you can give more to others.
Here’s the thing: We get to enjoy life. It’s not a punishment. Yes, there’s a bunch of junk we have to do that we may not love (like our day jobs or housework), but the rest of it? We should have as much fun with as possible. Nope, not BS-ing ourselves with toxic positivity, but doing things we actually like. Being around people we actually like, if not utterly love. Giving ourselves the things and experiences that feel rewarding…like a toes-in-sand walk along the shore, a meal at a favorite restaurant, a good chinwag with a bestie. A quiet afternoon in the library. A boisterous night around the dinner table. Choose your own adventure. Select how you want to recharge.
What’s New in 2024
After this wonderful little rest, there will be a few new-ish things here for the New Year. All main posts will stay free to all subscribers for four weeks, then they’ll slip behind the paywall, as they do now. There will always be a free week for anyone who wants to give this place a twirl and see behind that curtain, and you can always reach out to me if you need the archive but can’t afford a subscription.
Paid subscribers will be getting extra perks, like additional content (videos, podcast-y type things until I get the real one revived…you’ll have your first one today!). Those will come in a separate email, and here’s why: If I add paywalled material to the main post, then only paid subscribers can comment. That’s not fair. So, apologies for the additional beep or ping and something else to open. Hopefully, it will be worth it!
There will also be more Sassy Little Seminars and Workshops. Paid subscribers will have access to those for free! But I’ll be gifting one in December so everyone will be able to get a feel for the offering. Join me on December 9th at 11AM Pacific Time via Google Meet. If you’re interested in attending, RSVP to the email address below. This is for all subscribers, free and paid. (Please email me from your subscription address and I’ll send you the Google Meet info.)
And I’ll be taking on a few new private coaching clients for those interested in getting 2024 off to a happier start. Focusing on being happy is not selfish, it’s not negating the awfulness going on around us; it fortifies us so we can face what we need to face in life with a more solid foundation. If you are interested, curious or have any questions, email me at asassylittle@substack.com from the email address you subscribe with (the inbox will only accept messages from recognized senders).
2023 has been a doozy. So, let’s take in a deep breath and take out our calendars. See if you can’t schedule some time that’s just for you. Even if it’s an afternoon or early morning. A long bath or walk. Start pumping the breaks as often as you can, and make restoration a priority. Normalize doing nothing, sweetly. xo
Some Recs
Plan with a planner. For ages (seriously, a few years), I’ve had a Post-It with RamonaAndRuth.com scrawled on it. I’m not even sure how I came across it, but I finally typed it into my browser and ended up with a fun little planner. I’m a little tactile, so I like putting pen(cil) to paper and plotting things out. This is my first planner like this and, to me, it’s like a game, one that’s helping me stay on track to get things done before the end of the year. The beauty of it is that you date the page, so it doesn’t matter if you miss a day/week/month, just pick up where you left off. There are many planner options out there. Pick one and play!
is a wonderful ‘stack about the plague that seems to be taking us over. LRT explains it as, “Drawing on cultural sources and personal experiences, we delve into the roots of loneliness, examine its psychological and societal impacts, and explore strategies for cultivating authentic connections in an increasingly disconnected world.” You’ll enjoy it. xo
Your posts are always so timely. I need to pump the breaks. Sometimes I confuse excitement with stress until I can’t sleep. Then I know it’s stress.
((Dont feel pressure to go somewhere so as to not “waste” your time off.)) paraphrasing. Love this. Respect the Staycation!
Looking forward to the 9th. 🙏❤️
Rest rest rest. 🙌 preach it sassy sister!
I’m in for December rest. Space and time to just be, but also to allow myself to have the space to allow the creative juice to flow. Happy resting.