10 Comments

They should have gone free at least 15 years ago. To put it bluntly regarding Erik, if your father rapes you 300 times and your mother knows but does nothing to protect you, there is a certain natural justice and even moral justice to them both being taken out of this world. Fortunately, today, there is understanding and help in society and various agencies; back then, there was none. The L.A. District Attorney's office argued that it was impossible for a male to be raped. The judge didn't allow them to put on a defense in their second trial, or they would never have gotten life.

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I agree, Mike. The second trial was so skewed against them, it was ridiculous. And the lack of understanding of the imperfect self-defense. An abuse victim can’t retaliate while they are being abused. That’s a good way to not survive. It goes back to “The Burning Bed”. A victim strikes when the abuser(s) is(are) in a weakened/unprepared state. That’s the only way to protect themselves. While some can just walk away and do fine, others are tethered to their abusers. And age doesn’t matter. Socio-economics don’t matter (money can help, but not as much as one might think). It’s shocking at how we still talk about abuse, about sexual assault. The abuser/aggressor/perpetrator is still not taken to task. The victims always hold an element of fault (why were you there? what were you wearing? why didn’t you leave? did you yell/scream/fight back? what did you do to provoke that?). And that’s so appalling. xo

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That all sounds absolutely true to me, Sandra.

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I remember waiting each month to buy and devour Vanity Fair. I loved the writing and the in depth articles. And Dunne. He seemed to be in every gritty corner there was back then digging out what dirt he could and exposing it with a healthy dose of his own opinion and baggage that I didn't realize at the time. Nuanced he was not.

As for the brothers M, I bought into all of it back then... hook, line and sinker. Mostly because I believed the abuse was just an excuse to get out of the murder, not because I believed it happened.

It was only when I saw the recent Murphy documentary (and 30 years worth of my own lived experience) that I went...ya, oops. You have to give chops to their lawyer(s). That must've been so difficult to lose the case knowing what they knew and having a judge not allow her to introduce any of the evidence in the second trial.

I'm sorry you went through what you went through with your mom. xo

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Thank you, Kim. The mom stuff I talk about now because back then it was so taboo. That’s your mother! You only have one mother! You have to love your mother! But it’s not painful anymore. Annoying at times. I just don’t want anyone to feel like they are alone or that they can’t speak their truth.

And Leslie Abramson was basically losing her sh!t on a minute-by-minute basis during the second trial. I think she was sanctioned/had to pay, but I don’t think she was put in a cell for being in contempt. She and the judge did not like each other.

I believed them from the start, but they also did so much dumb stuff to make people not believe them (the shopping spree for one, the gun stores all over the Southland another, threatening the shrink for a third). But abuse ruins you in many regards. And not in the same way for people. Everyone reacts to their ruination in differently. Some even land on their feet.

And I loved Dominick so much. He came into my view when his daughter was murdered, and I devoured everything he wrote in VF. I wrote a part for him in one of my screenplays. To play himself, of course. (A dark comedy about murders at a Hollywood studio.) Then he died. Same thing with George Carlin. I even passed him on the street shortly before and almost told him, “I’m going to send your agent a script soon. I wrote the part for you!” (I met him very briefly during a rehearsal show for one of his HBO specials; a good friend of his was a colleague of mine, not that he would at all remember me). Then he died, like right after I wrote THE END in the script…not kidding. And I realized I needed to stop writing parts for people I adored…didn’t know what black widow I was when it came to screenwriting! LOL. xo

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Oh, Sandra. I'm sorry that you suffered so. xo

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Thank you, Val. It was a long time ago. I talk about it now because it wasn’t something you really could back then, and I want people to be comfortable doing it now. It’s really just grist for the mill. It made me the charmer I am today. And I love whoever said, “Are you funny, or did you have a happy childhood?” LOL. xo

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Sandra, yes, I get your motive in sharing and agree it's really important! xo

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"Kids simply shouldn’t carry the burden of parents who refuse to mature." This. I feel this for my niece and nephew who can't have a normal relationship with their father due to verbal abuse. They all tried counseling together, but you know how men are. And sadly, he actually admitted that he's not going to change. Some people can't rise above the abuse they themselves were dealt by family and he was one of them. But my niece and nephew are/will/have, etc.

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Kudos to your niece and nephew. Having people who do love and respect them shows them the normal/the way through. And I'm sorry they don't have the father they deserve. That reflects solely on him, not them. But it's a suck that really doesn't go away. It becomes a grain of sand rather than a pebble in the shoe. But, from time to time, it's felt. We just have to remember to keep letting it go. Cheers, Ororo. I'm glad they have you for their aunt. xo

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