Priorities (What Really Matters)
June Blooming
Let’s take an inventory, shall we? Not of what’s in the pantry or closet, but what’s truly important to you right now. Like, right this minute, in this moment or phase of your life. Get a pen, because we need to write this down.
What are your priorities? Health? Wealth? Love? Career? Family? Friends? Hobbies? Name them.
Really. I want you to write them down now. Don’t worry. We’ll wait.
Welcome to A Sassy Little Substack, a reader-supported publication about cultivating happiness and eschewing toxic positivity by certified happiness and trauma-informed wellness coach, Sandra Ann Miller, a.k.a. The Happyist. New posts drop each Wednesday until the end of August, when this ‘stack will close its doors.
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Now that those priorities are named, we can break them down further to the goal of each priority. How do you need or want to improve your health? What will make you feel wealthy? (Pro Tip: It’s not always more money.) Are you looking to find your partner? Do you need to work on the relationship you already have? Ready to ask for that raise or promotion, or do you want to change industries and get skills for that new venture? How do you want to deepen your connection with loved ones? How would you like to bring your “hobbies” (I’m categorizing side-hustles and artistic endeavors here) more to the fore?
Then, we can take those priorities and break them down into steps that will get you there. Reverse engineer them, so you can see that they are easier to achieve than you thought, and you can go into action — even if that action is a nap, because one of your priorities is more rest.
Here’s the thing: We might mentally have our “priorities” already noted in our noggins, but that doesn’t mean we make them priorities. In this case, it’s not the thought that counts; it’s what we intend to do about them.
What’s more important: getting educated for that career shift, or catching up on “The Valley”? We have plenty of time to do the things we need to do, we just don’t always prioritize them in the way we should. Yes, you get to indulge and enjoy whatever garbage TV brings you joy (I have my list), but wouldn’t it be more enjoyable knowing you already did something more important for yourself first? And when you make your priorities your priority, you may realize you don’t want to zone out like you did in the past, because there are more productive and nurturing things for you to do.
One of the things I need to do is to let go of A Sassy Little Substack. I know! But I do. My priority has shifted to the work I do at The Happyist. That’s where my focus and energy needs to be, wants to be. So here’s what’s going to happen:
On June 30th, I will pause paid subscriptions. For those who have paid for a yearly, you have two options: You can cancel and get a refund for the remainder of your sub, or I will take the time you have left on that sub and move it over to The Happyist. (You don’t have to do anything; I’ll move you over unless you unsub.)
August will be the last month of Sassy posts, making this a 2.5 year run.
And, just so you know, while I have been tooling around with the idea to wrap this ‘stack up next year, at the three-year mark, it was today, as I was writing this (06/12/25), that I decided I need to get clear on my priorities, too, and, let go of what’s not taking me forward, even if it’s something I love and appreciate.
And I do love and appreciate this ‘stack and you mighty fine readers, especially the darling ones who have been here from the start! This is what brought me back to writing after not (productively) for nearly six years. You made this fun. And I hope you will find some fun with me at The Happyist.
Not everything we love and enjoy will drive us forward. Season, reason, lifetime. If that energy and focus is better utilized elsewhere, hard choices have to be made. Priorities set. Decisions made.
And if this rings true to you, hear it as permission to move forward, too. Because it’s not easy to do. Sometimes, we need a nudge. So, nudge nudge.
Priorities are important. Even more important is that you don’t put yourself last on the list. Because, in actual life — off the page and beyond the list — we tend to put ourselves last. We make sure everyone else, all of their priorities, is/are taken care of. You have to do X, Y or Z for them before you can focus on yourself. Imagine if they took responsibility for their priorities; what would your life look like then? Did you just feel a whole bunch of weight drop off you? Good! Now you know what’s not yours.
We should only carry what belongs to us. And, yes, if you have dependents, they are yours to prioritize. But at what age can they start making their bed and cleaning their bathroom? When can they start making their own lunches and do their own laundry? You might still be doing it because it’s “easier” than showing them how, monitoring them, etc. Yes, that’s work. But only for a little bit. And then they will understand how to manage their priorities, how to be responsible and contribute.
Same with work. Which colleagues can start doing tasks that really belong to them? Why do you stay late because someone else didn’t do their work? What things do you still do because it’s “easier” than showing someone else how, and expecting them to do it? Stop. Yes, it can be twice the work at the start to educate and oversee, but then that will be off your plate.
What really matters is being good to you. Making sure you have the time, space and energy to focus on what will move you forward. And that motion benefits everyone else around you. It’s not pie. You aren’t taking away from someone else because you are making yourself a priority. You are actually showing them how to do the same. xo
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